At the risk of sounding cliché, I’ll tell you this: I’m in love. It’s been two years and loose change and I’m still mesmerized with the woman I am in love with right now. It seems (and sounds) so unreasonable to conclude I won’t experience any turbulent times as long as there is love. In fact, I’m having the worst degree of paranoia I’ve ever had in my whole life.
How do you prolong a relationship? I am not in a position to answer the question, since the only ones I think who are qualified enough are couples who have been together for a quarter or even half of a century and still have maintained the intimacy that first bloomed between them. I mean, what does two years signify in comparison to a decade? 25 years? Half a century? Honestly, I have always been someone who’s always turned down by women because of my attitude; and I myself believed then that I wouldn’t be able to handle (let alone nurture) an active, healthy and growing relationship. So, the answer to the question can be asked to people who have seen the darkest years in their lives yet believed that being with their loved ones takes all the hardships away.
Try listening to a song online (imeem.com, for one) or watching a video (e.g., youtube.com). Do you notice how irritable you get when you listen or watch a song or a movie, it just stops because the buffer hasn’t finished yet? You tell yourself you badly want a website that doesn’t have that buffering thing anymore because, simply put, it doesn’t make you watch and listen straight and undisturbed. How’s it going to be, then, when your internet connection is slow and the server just couldn’t speed up? Do you just close the window and browse the site next time? Do you wait for the buffer to finish (assuming you really the video / song), since you think everything is worth the wait? Or do you search for another song / video, thinking that the file itself is the one with defects and not your service provider?
Buffers are helpful since it gives amount of time for the file to load, and after it’s done, one should be able to enjoy listening to or watching the file – all without further ado, bugs, and disturbances. How should we react if buffers are applied in relationships?
Buffers can be likened to challenges. They may come in many forms: Trust may be damaged, communication may be lacking, intimacy may be missing, physical contact may be rare. Whatever 'buffer' may be presented to us, how do we react?
-Do we 'close the window' – cool off – and hope it works the next time we try it again?
-Do we 'search for another file' – break up – thinking our partner has the problem, and not the 'server', which is the dimension called time?
-Do we 'wait for the buffer to finish' – not give up – thinking that like buffers in online files, challenges can strengthen the bond of relationships?
Only ourselves can answer that.
As I've told you, I'm so much in love. But honestly, I'm facing a buffer myself. If you were to ask me, I'm willing to wait for the buffer to do its thing. And as I do it, I'm trying my best in going down on my knees and even bleed, just to make the love of my life do the same. Both of us may claim we have been failing to make each other happy, but would that be enough basis to fall out from what was once dubbed as First and Last Romance?
Sure, buffers may be compared to doubts. And if that happens, how should one react, given he's been doubted? Of course, you don't let go. Neither do you nurture your pride. You act with humility instead, conceding that there must be something terrible you have committed or failed to do. Remember, doubts don't amount to the loss of trust. You have all the efforts in the world to make your partner vanquish them before they develop into mistrust. That's what exactly I'm doing right now.
I'm in love; the whole world has already known that as a fact. I'm not holding on just because of shame. Neither am I holding on because I'm thinking what a waste these would all be. I'm holding on – despite the buffers – because next to Godly and filial love, I've got something towards someone I'd never dare trading for anything and anyone else in the world. Despite the buffers, I'm holding on because I know how much joy and contentment in life I could get in return with her as my wife.
Buffers in a file may simply suck; but always think the other way around – buffers in life can help us how to be better people...and hold on to what for us means the word itself – our LIFE.
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